My Shovel List

So, I penned a catalog of people that ruffle my feathers so bad I want to spank them. It is unsystematic though, save for number one; it was the impetus that got my juices flowing in this direction i.e. blogging about them.

Messy and apathetic folks: Case in point and plea; when you're done with whatever business you had in a communal lavatory, for Pete's sake, flash the damn toilet and use the air freshener! There's nothing as nauseating as entering an unkempt washroom. Eeeew!

Insolent colleagues: These make the workplace seem like some sort of camp occupied by political antagonists. Courtesy doesn’t cost a thing. You’ll still have your pair of balls or breasts after offering or politely returning a simple “hello”.

Blatant fibbers: You come off as pathetic when someone can see right through your lies. Such people, I want to hit so hard they would get amnesia, and consequently reform. 

My-way-is-the-only-way-cuz-it's-cool: I’m profoundly infuriated on any occasion someone tries to have me adopt their ways.Yes, I'm a bonafide introvert; however, it's a harmless trait. We can’t all be hyper. I'm also a teetotaler, that’s who I am. Remarks such as "you should learn to drink so you can have a swell time" make my hackles rise. Over and above that, a designated driver would come in handy for whenever you’re inebriated, no?. Needless to say, the world would be a dreary place if we were homogeneous. 

Inebriated psychos:  I have no real personal issue with alcohol; none whatsoever. After all, like I intimated earlier, I don't drink.  However, my beef is with people that do and be reduced to loonies of sorts. Why imbibe to such extremes? It overly irks me.

Atrocious drivers: This alludes to a breed that disregards road etiquette, endanger other road users and hence precipitating such road rage I stop short of sticking my tongue out at them each time.

Devil-may-care grown-ups: If laws against assault were non-existent, I would smack all the irresponsible adults I've had the ill luck of chancing upon. *nuff said*

Cyber alpha males/females: Perhaps I'm slow; be that as it may, I can't and refuse to comprehend how and/or why one would be under the impression that they run these streets. Oh! For crying out loud, it is merely a virtual world. Get a life!

Reckless gossip mongers: I label them reckless owing to the fact that apart from spreading falsehoods about others, it is with such malice and devotion it almost seems like a full time job. Losers!

Schadenfreudes: Yes, I can’t even pronounce the word; however it best describes those that seem to get a kick from seeing others hurt. How do you even sleep at night? 

Smarty-pants: We all have opinions. However, it isn’t a competition that we would lose if we didn’t express them every time everywhere. It sucks being around know-it-alls. Utterly tedious!

I’m heavy-laden-and-so-I-hate-the-world-and-all-its-inhabitants: Dude, we all have hustles. However, we soldier on. Salvage yourself instead of drowning in an abyss of futile emotions such as self pity.

Shams and users: Here falls a category I will term the “make-believe buddies”. The former mastered this game so well that by the time you catch on, you’re in so deep it is heart wrenching. As for the latter, they’ll only be around for as long as it’s beneficial to them. Cold-blooded fleas they are!

Envisage this: We fell out; loathed each other for a while, naturally; I bit the bullet and ate a humble pie, the fact that I wasn’t culpable notwithstanding. Hence, we made up, apparently. Unknown to me, you still harbour revulsion towards me and slyly plot evil but feign affection so much so that am swayed to believe the hatchet was buried. Oh what a waste of emotion! I daresay it’s draining! 

I'm yet to find a tag for this category....