If only it could just fade away....

"...i’ve been trying 2 get over u....i’ve been spending time alone....." sounds of Vince Gill, one of ma favourite country music artists play away on ma music system and for a moment i think...well this song just portrayed my current state of mind.

It’s a Saturday night and i should be doing something special to unwind...it’s always a long week 4 me and it would only be cool to cosset myself. In ma world though, ma indulgencies only range from a bar of chocolate and huge bottle of fanta to old ballads and love story movies. But today, even those could not help...i just cant think of anything else but him...and yet, i’ve been trying 2 get over him!

Oh nooooooooooooo....he didn’t miss..right?? Uruguay Vs Costa Rica is the match showing right now and this would have been an amazing goal but he missed. The overly handsome player kicked the ball too high. And now...a penalty for Uruguay.....soccer!

I wish i could be watching these games with you; learning a thing or two about this whole 90 minutes’ process involving men chasing after one ball in order to score points; soliciting clarity from you on a cross, foul, corner kick among other such terms used in this game that men obsess about.

“Ella focus”........that irksome but often times overly astute  little voice inside “shakes” me out of my digression and sets me back to my reality; it’s time to move on!

Quick question: Why is it so hard to get over “impossible loves”? I mean how come even when you know the two of you can’t be, you just can’t stop feeling so deeply for them? Shouldn’t the realisation that the feeling aint being reciprocated be sufficient to get them out of your system? How can one love in vain but keep on doing it? 

You still want to call and hear his voice, even when you know you’ll only feel worse after you hang up. Reason: you didn't hear the words you so desire to hear from the one you so badly miss.  Crazy, right?

It’s half time and sounds of Radio and Weasel play on Radio City...Neela...i love this song. Wait a second, Weasal didn’t feature in this one this time...are they going solo??? It’s a tight duo, i hope not!

Drat! Still have to prepare my supper. In a bid to keep my mind occupied, one of my new hobbies is cooking. A good friend said i’ve lost so much weight (never been bigger anyways) and the person am trying to get over begged me to take care of myself. So am off to make myself some delicious stuff; not sure what yet but i know it’s gonna be tasty. 

Till i scribble something else again.....

“Do not allow yourself to be in such a situation...it is so emotionally draining.....insisting on unreciprocated emotions”