Classic Catch 22

I’ve always effortlessly averted situations that threatened to evoke my vulnerability. My recent past experiences got me so damaged that I had put fortifications around me and they seemed sufficient. How they suddenly came tumbling down; I’m yet to comprehend.
 

And all it took was a hug! One magnetic embrace stirred my entire being! 

I’m spellbound. I see him and get goose bumps. I hear his voice and get chills down my spine. It’s been an eon since anyone tickled my fancy this bad. I love to hate this feeling; especially because of how impuissant it’s made me. It’s an emotional crisis.

 “But why Ella? Why him? Why the most enigmatic of them all?”

The overly insistent inner voice won’t let me be. Sadly, even I can’t find the answers to these pesky questions. Matter of fact, I would rather play dumb.

What I’m certain about though is I want this to linger; because when we hug; God, those stolen moments are hypnotic. I could stay in that embrace forever.  

Unhealthy as it may seem; scratch that; perilous as it’s already proven; it’s an “adventure” I’m willing to explore. I’m an adrenaline junkie after all, no?

I’m enslaved!